When you care about someone, every single thing he does is a hope, every single word he says is a touch, and everys ingle laugh he makes is a bless. So when every single of those matters happens to you..you have the right to be up high, coz all you do is care about him (this goes to "her" too..), and that someone will never know how much you care..to every single thing, every single word, and every single laugh.You can be paranoid when it comes to the one you care so much, but then again it could be a strong feeling you have because of your careness, and sometimes all you can do is denying it, eventhough you know..it's hardly wrong.I think The Mighty works twice every time He creates us, first the original us then the mask for our face, and our heart. Because now I realized that every body has something unreal on their faces and in their hearts. I think He wants us to learn how to control between the "us" and the "mask", unfortunately, most of us fail...
Si BuKu BiRu
saat rindu jemari menari dengan hati
Sunday, April 1, 2012
"My Feelings Lately"...Back Then...
Undated...she wrote something about how she felt lately..back then. Still about the one thats has started everything...
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Dear...
I remembered wrote this one in the morning...undated morning :)
Dear life, I guess I have to accept the fact that you are mine, you're not so great...or so cool, but you're mine. I guess it's up to me to do YOU, to make you great..or cool..or ruin, but then again you know what? I'm glad I have U!Dear time, God...how I wish to play with you, you're unstopable and you're keep moving forward, I want you to stop and move backward...if I can. People wait for you because you are a start and an end, but never really end...Dear sky, you have one of the most beautiful colors in the world, you have so many beautiful and amazing things to see, but I have one favorite thing to see that only you have it..it is called a Star..Dear cupid, next time you want to put your arrow in a heart, make sure it's in the right time and position, don't do like you did to me, it hurts because you put it for the wrong guy,and you put it too deep, now please take it out.. Please..Dear happy and sorrow, you guys really like to play around me dont't you? Well guess what? i'm tired happy,,you hit me at one time but sorrow...you struck me at another. You guys keep doing that, dont you get tired? Stop playing for a while, will ya?Dear heart, i'm sorry you have to get hurt for something you didn't do, I'm sorry you have to get hurt for something precious you did, loving...I know you confused and asking why everytime you 're loving you get hurt, I'm sorry..Dear mood, well you still got me in control,and you're getting stronger,it's ok...I trust you know as my intuition too, but you keep getting down lately...what's up? Please get better...i'm tired to see my self now...
A very simple and naive me.. :)
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Pada Akhirny Kita Sendiri
Undated.. :)
pengalaman hidup mengajarkan kita mempercayai satu suara..kata hati menjadi sahabat yang istimewa, dan naluri tetap setiamenuntun kita meraba jalan hidup yang tak pernah mulus..pada akhirnya kita akan sendiri...itu pelajaran berharga yang tertulisdi atas hitamnya papan tulis kehidupan yang tidak berbasa-basi..saat itu harusnya kita menyadari, kita hanya bisa percaya pada satu suarabanyak yang bisa terkatakan dari sekelebat potongan-potongangambar hidup kita, namun jarang yang bisa benar-benar terdengar dan tersusun dengan baik. kita harus menunggu inspirasi..inspirasi..kata-kata itu membuat saya tersenyum..saya telah kehilangan dirinya..pun bila ia timbul..warnanya hitam atau abu-abu.saya hanya bisa mencari apa yang tersisa, terus menjaga bagian indah yangdisimpan dalam memori hati saya...agar inspirasi itu tidak benar-benar berwarna hitam...susah ternyata...keketiran hati saya sudah sangat pudar, cat penerimaan rasa sakit dankebingungan saya mulai kering, saya sebentar lagi bisa istirahat panjang...sebelum mulai lagi pekerjaan yang tak mudah...memasang ornamen-ornamenwarna cerah, seperti senyum bahagia, dan jatuh cinta...waktu saya masih panjang...lagi pula saya punya banyak sekali sabar,harapan untuk melihat inspirasi saya kembali putih membuat saya bertahan...meski angin waktu yang tak bisa ditahan terus mengeringkan cat itu..warnanya putihpada akhirnya kita harus berjalan...pelajaran lain dari sekolah kehidupan yang saya sukaberjalan tanpa jejak jelas akan meluluskan kita menuju tingkat yang semakin lama semakin sederhana..tanpa khawatir jiwa-jiwa lain akan menarik kitakembali ke belakang dan menahan kita untuk tetap diam,suatu godaan yang sulit ditolak...saya yakin saat saraf-saraf kesadaran itu tersentuh...kita hanya bisa percaya pada satu suara
Ndablek!
Just for the record, I have wrote 3 full paragraph of opening lines telling who is the inspiration and how this bukubiru inspired by him and why I decided not to published the blog anymore, and a complete writing of below note...before something odd happened, it's like the system rewrite and I had to resign-in and yess...I lost the draft :) aaahh..such a test!
So being impatient as an Aries should be, I decided to rewrite without further due and cut the previous crap :)
aku mundur aja..bukan karena tak sanggup, tapi aku tak mauorang yang aku harap-harap ternyata ndablek!ngga ngerti kalau banyak yang sayang sama diaapalagi aku...orang yang harap-harap aku pasti bilang aku ndablek!ngga ngerti kalau banyak yang sayang sama akuaku ngecewain orang..apalagi akuorang yang harap-harap orang yang harapin akupasti bilang dia ndablek!ngga ngerti kalau percuma harap-harap aku yang ngga bisa diharapkanaku berhenti sajabukan karena tak bisa, tapi aku mau pergikembaranku pasti marah-marah, dia pasti bilang aku penyerah!mungkin aku memang begitu..penyerah..tidak lebihtapi orang ngga akan tau aku ini apa..apalagi akuaku mau mundur...mau berhenti..cuma dari apa? suatu ke-ndablek-an? mungkin..atau harap-harap, harapan, dan diharapkan? bisa jadi...cuma yang pasti..kembaranku bakal marah-marahdan bilang...dasar penyerah!-2303011715-
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Disinilah Aku...
undated writing..there will be more like this :)
disinilah aku...berdiri di persimpangan, antara gundah dan harapan..melangkahku perlahan... tak pasti dan menerawangAku bukanlah aku saat ini...yang jujur pada diri, yang tegar menantang hari...dan tertawa lepas dengan hatiaku adalah aku...yang sakit, yang pedih...dan yang terpurukdisinilah aku...berdiri di persimpangan, mengharap keajaibanmengharap bintang dari pada bulankarena bagiku...ia bersinar paling terang...aku sayangkan..sebuah bintang..ternyata hanya bintang..tak tercapai, tak terkejar...aku tangisi...jiwaku yang tanpa isi, menanti untuk dihuni...terus menadah tak hentiaku masih disini...antara gundah dan harapan, mengharap keajaiban..menyayangkan bintang...menangisi kekosonganaku masih terus melangkah..perlahan..dan menerawangkemanakah aku pergi...bilakah aku sampai..aku tak tahu..
The One Who Started It All..
Owh dear..it's been so long since I opened the Buku Biru I had to re-look what writing I've been posted in these digital pages, it's surprising how random I chose my thoughts to be posted. It's funny how I'm always amazed by my own writing, I never thought I could write like that :)...and it's weird how I never yet posted anything about the one who made me started to write Buku Biru. I guess it's time..
As it is, the posting will be in random order. I know what kind of feeling I would have going through all this, walking through this path again...I would smile, as I always did in the end. I could never hate, as he was the one who made it all begin...I called him Biru, and this book was originally wrote because of him.
dia datang lagi..pelan..sederhana..tapi saya kagetapa-apaan nih?! saya ngga siapcuma sesaat, cuma sejentik, tapi dia ada lagisatu sisi...saya tidak pedulisisi lain..saya sadar sesuatu, saya kangenhari ini...hanya hari ini..saya yakin dia akan pergi lagi..begitu sajadan saya kembali melanjutkan langkah saya..fatamorgana..ilusi..apapun!! Dia hanya sebuah "X"
saya belum merasakan apa pun...belum sejak yang di Atas memendekkan hidup saya lagiatau saya yang tidak mau merasakan apa-apa?saya tutup semuanya...saya bekukan yang ada..tolol sekali!saya cuma berkata..."itu semua tidak penting"...gak penting!!saya senyum, semua orang akan tahu saya bahagiasaya tertawa, menebar pesona...Hah!! pergi saja ke neraka!belum...belum ada rasa apa-apa..saya hanya berpikir untuk merasa...berpikir..kuldesak!jadi bagaimana...saya lewat saja?
let the open-up begins... :)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Aku Tak Punya Sebutan Untukmu (for him who was..early 2011)
I didn't take this from the Buku Biru, the fingers were danced on the note of my social media account. This one is pretty special, for the first time after a very long time (according to me)..I felt like I finally can sigh and settle, like everything's right and proper, up until the very last second to our ending. This one is a complete funny exam from my best friend Life...and I failed...
aku tak punya sebutan untukmu
semua terasa benar...
ketika pada tempatnya adalah yang seharusnya...
maka yang berarti adalah yang tidak bernama...tidak berlebih..
aku tak punya gambaran untukmu
semua terasa benar...
ketika pada ujungnya pikir adalah tak berdaya...
maka yang berarti adalah yang sederhana...yang berasa..
aku tak punya catatan untukmu
semua terasa benar...
ketika yang bermain adalah jemari karena menari..
maka yang berarti adalah makna dari jiwa..sirat dari suara..
aku tak punya sebutan untukmu...semua terasa benar
- IBSP, 070311-
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